And I thought I was alone!
Nah, you are not alone. FreeCAD has vibrant community and therefore you likely shouldn't feel like you are in it alone.
"5 Ways FreeCAD will Annoy You"
Usually the intentions are good but such definitive titles can attract a lot of BS.
Said that investing in such debates from time to time. I guess that is a feature and not a bug. As some annoying thing can get sorted out over time. Or some more in depth understanding can be the outcome.
Is there any way I can get together with one of the Devs and try and help fix this stuff instead of them blasting along with new features leaving a veritable trail of pain and suffering behind?
Yes and no. First thing usually is to propose something. Some general consensus can be gathered from such proposals. From time to time a developer emerges tackling it. Therefore usually this is more of an process. Compared to a meeting, where you would say i want this and this and this and it would get done after. As usually other people attending the meeting have their take on it. And usually such things need to settle first. Before considering further steps. It does help if you are a developer. As usually you can take more direct approach. But i would suggest to not neglect the other steps of the process too much. As doing the whole process usually results in better solution anyway.